Coping

12.27.17 – cont. 

You feel like crying when you finally step out of the haze, because you know you’ve lost something in it that you’ll never get back, and some things that happen simply can’t be undone. Something has changed, and when you feel it you force yourself to say goodbye to something that never was but maybe could have been, and perhaps this was all in your head, but the thought of it breaks your heart anyway. 

And when you are confronted with the worst, most twisted part of yourself, you reach into that darkness and search for little fragments of light that you strain to put back together to make yourself whole again – to make yourself feel not so stupid and foolish – and little by little, ever so slowly, you feel like you’re getting there. Soon, you can turn and smile and say “this too shall pass,” with a confidence you know you’ve felt before. Life goes on, and you take comfort in knowing that one day this will all be a silly little memory – a little footnote in the story of your life. 

But still, for now you say hello to yet another bleeding heart,

And open yet another secret notebook in the dark.